August political humor (updated as it happens)

27 Aug

Hillary didn’t get the question when she said she wasn’t involved with “classified” material; she thought it was about Bill’s Craigslist ads.

Politicians get in trouble when they get into crooks and nannies.

When people tell me they got the shitty end of the stick, i try not to make them feel bad by saying my family used corncobs and the Sear’s catalogue.

My friend told me he got the shitty end of the stick. I felt bad. I’d known him for years and never realized he was from Venezuela.

Hillary’s people say erasing emails is not unprecedented. They’re right; if email had been used back then Sandy Burger would’ve erased them too.

Donald Trump seeks to end birthright citizenship; says deporting many born here will open up tons of property for real estate development.

Trump tells Ramos to wait his turn, but Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake shoves Fox guy out of the way. That’s white privilege!

Republicans are fine with having ten candidates on stage for a primary debate but object to more than two candidates being present for the general election debates.

If we stopped illegal immigration, how would Planned Parenthood get enough babies to make Nancy Pelosi’s youth serum ?

Infant welfare issues central for the 2016 presidential campaign – Donald Trump is against anchor babies, Planned Parenthood is for full funding for corrective pediatric surgery, and Hillary Clinton tells her donors and supporters that she is against bed wetting.

Why do liberals think it bad for WalMart to hire cheap labor buoyed by food stamps and welfare, but if immigrant labor gets them it’s ok?

Subway announces that it is firing Jared and re-branding its campaign to “Eat Fresh.”  Their new menu will be introducing children’s portions.

I could swear there was a porn star whose screen name was Hunter Biden. Identity theft I guess.

Hillary’s press conference yesterday did not go as planned; she didn’t plan to walk away and show that wide ass and pear shape. But now Jay Z is doing a new campaign video with her set to “Baby Got Back.”

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