Archive | April, 2016

Pensions and penises

30 Apr

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer,a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, ‘From the tip of my willie to my testicles.’
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to ‘drop ’em,’ which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s weenie and began to work back. “Dear Lord!”, he suddenly exclaimed, ”Where are your testicles?” 
The old Chief calmly replied, ”Vietnam”

Institute for Justice wins asset forfeiture case

29 Apr


Yesterday, IJ won our fastest victory ever.  Just hours after we launched our latest civil forfeiture case with an exclusive feature in The Washington Post, the government agreed to drop all charges against our clients and returned every cent that it had wrongfully seized.   
This case involves one of the most outrageous forfeiture actions we’ve seen yet.  During a routine traffic stop for a broken tail light, the Muskogee, Oklahoma, sheriff’s department seized more than $53,000 from our clients—a church and a Burmese Christian band on tour in the U.S. trying to raise funds for charity.  The full Washington Post story is here, and you can find more information about the case, including IJ’s video, on our website.
Law enforcement nationwide continues to use civil forfeiture to steal property and hard-earned cash from innocent owners.  But with your support, we were able to act quickly and marshal resources across time zones—and, in this case, continents—to come to their defense.  Despite its short duration, this case involved a great deal of work and hustle by IJ attorneys.  Indeed, I suspect this is the first time anyone has had to chase down notaries in Burma, rural Thailand, Omaha, and Dallas all on the same day.  This victory brings us one step closer to our goal of abolishing forfeiture, and we are grateful to you for making it possible.   
Scott Bullock | | Institute for Justice | 901 North Glebe Road, Suite 900 | Arlington, Virginia 22203

Libertarian calendar for April 2016

26 Apr

April 29-May 1
Salinas, Kansas

Kansas Libertarian Party convention

The Libertarian Party of Kansas nominates our candidates for public office for the 2016 elections (as a minor party we still use the convention rather than the primary process) we will have some other party business as well, including electing some officers in the new rotation.  The 3 officer positions to be elected will be the State Chair, 1st District Coordinator & the 3rd District Coordinator.
The convention is open to all, however, only those registered to vote as a Libertarian in the state of Kansas may vote at the convention.

April 29
New York, NY

Gary Johnson fundraiser
6 pm- 8 pm

A Grand Meet ‘n Greet With Himself- Hizzoner Gary Johnson
Date- Friday April 29, 2016
Location- Connollys Irish Pub and Restaurant- 
43 W 54th St, New York, NY 10019 (Between 5th and 6th)
Time- 6:00P- 8:00 PM
Donation- $50.00 PP/$80.00 per couple in advance. $70.00 pp at the door. 

Donation includes- Admission, Complimentary Hors D’Ouevres, Cash Bar, and Complimentary Gary Johnson 2016 Presidential Campaign Bumper Stickers.
Also includes an entry into drawings to be held for 2016 Campaign Tee Shirts.
ADDED BONUS! – Drawing will be held that evening that will award an attendee with a Private Breakfast for Two with Gary Johnson on Saturday April 30th at a secret location in Midtown Manhattan from 9:00AM-10:30AM

1 Ticket $50.00 USD2 Tickets $80.00 USDDonation $100.00 USD


April 30
New York, NY

The 2016 LPNY Convention
Ukrainian East Village Restaurant
10 am

140 Second Avenue near 9th Street

Tentative speakers:
John McAfee
Governor Gary Johnson
other LP Presidential candidates

April 1
Keller, TX

The Tarrant County Libertarian Meetup
7:30 PM
Keller Tavern
128 South Main Street
Keller, TX 76248

April 1
Leawood, Kansas

Libertarian debate watching party
7 pm

  • Johnny’s Tavern in Overland Park

    6765 W 119th St, Leawood, Kansas 66209
    Join us in watching the first Libertarian Party Presidential Debate on a major news network! Gary Johnson, Austin Petersen, and John McAfee will be going at it on Stossel on Fox Business!

    We have reserved a private room in the back corner of Johnny’s Tavern at 6765 W 119th St, Overland Park, KS 66209 right next to The Cheesecake Factory.

    The debate starts at 8:00 pm, however the room is available to us at 5:00 pm. Join us for food and drinks!

    April 1
    Newport News, VA

    Libertarian debate party
    7 pm

    126 Archer Road, Newport News, VA 23606

    April 1
    Austin, TX

    Libertarian debate party
    7 pm

    Opal Divine’s Penn Field

    3601 S Congress Ave, Ste K100, Austin, Texas 78704

    April 1
    Madison, WI

    Libertarian debate watch party
    7 pm

    April 1
    Indianapolis, IN

    Libertarian debate party
    7 pm

    814 E. 15th Street, Indianapolis, Indiana, 46202

    April 1
    Chicago, IL

    The Libertarian Party of Chicago Meetup Group
    8:00 PM
    Red Ivy
    3525 N Clark St
    Chicago, IL
    Are you going?

    April 1
    Arlington, VA

    Libertarian Presidential Debate
    7 pm
    Screening Party
    Hard Times Cafe
    Clarendon Metro


Update on the Transgender Libertarian who shut down D.C.

24 Apr
Last fall, I wrote about a transgender libertarian, Sophia (Adam) Dalke, who shutdown the K Street  lobbyist area of DC for a day with a suicide attempt.  The mainstream media were prissy about reporting that the Dalke was transgender, and the government and police offered few details.

I then discovered that Dalke was actually waiting among the pending members for the local LGBT libertarian meetup group.

Though she could have been incarcerated for several years under DC’s draconian gun prohibition laws, Dalke is now out on two years probation, and posting on social media.

Libertarian calendar for May 2016

22 Apr
May 4
Washington, DC

Deirdre McCloskey
Bougeois Equality
American Enterprise Institute

In “Bourgeois Equality” (University of Chicago Press, 2016), the third volume of her trilogy extolling the virtues of the bourgeoisie, well-known economic historian Deirdre McCloskey explains, “Our riches were made not by piling brick on brick, bank balance on bank balance, but by piling idea on idea.” This book argues that ideas, rather than capital or institutions, have driven prosperity. Specifically, she points to equal liberty and dignity for ordinary people — ideas that upended ancient hierarchies and empowered commoners.
Join AEI for a conversation with Dr. McCloskey and The Washington Post’s George Will about the ideas that have fueled human well-being in the modern era. Light refreshments will precede the discussion, and a wine and cheese reception will follow. Copies of the book will be available for sale.
Join the conversation on social media with #BourgeoisEquality.

Michael R. Strain, AEI
6:05 PM
Deirdre McCloskey, University of Illinois at Chicago
6:20 PM:
Book discussion:
Deirdre McCloskey, University of Illinois at Chicago
George Will, The Washington Post

For more information, please contact Kaavya Ramesh at, 202.862.7193.

May 14
London, UK

Benevolent Laissez Faire

  • 12:30 PM to 7:00 PM
  • <li class="event-stack event-where complete" data-address="36-38 Kingsway, WC2B 6EY, London” data-id=”23874130″ data-name=”Rocket Holborn” id=”event-where” style=”background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-top-color: rgb(238, 238, 238); border-top-style: dotted; border-top-width: 1px; color: #272727; margin: 0px; padding: 18px 0px 0px;”>

    36-38 Kingsway, WC2B 6EY, London (map)
  • Enter down the stairs from Lincoln’s Inn Fields
  • Price: GBP12.00 /per person

  • A large and pro-active state that provides safety and certainty is attractive to many, who believe the problems can be managed by electing a better leader next time. For others, this idea is simply mistaken. 
    Our country is better than 90% of countries surveyed, in one study. That makes it the 15th nicest place to live. 
    Our education system raises all our children properly. Our doctors keep an eye on our lifestyles. Our regulators decide how the economy and our businesses are to be made fair and decent. Our benefits offices give the unfortunate comfortable independence. Our armies insist our values are followed in every part of the world. Our taxes will pay for everything – if only the rich can be squeezed hard enough.
    But what if you want to teach your children differently? Live a riskier more enjoyable lifestyle? Use a truly innovative banking or financial product? Enjoy a stable currency? Put your own family first? Stay out of conflicts? Do you have the space to live differently? Are you able to pick something better than the 15th best?
    How might those that crave comfort and certainty, for themselves and perhaps for others, accept that it is OK to leave people alone to enjoy (or be at the mercy) of a laissez-faire political and economic system? This conference will present the ethical reasons to accept such a settlement and the institutional and technological alternatives to a tax and spend society. 
    This afternoon event consists of four sessions:
    • DIY Governance – Janina Lowisz, BitNation and Julio Alejandro, Humanitarian Blockchain 
    • Historical Precedents for Laissez Faire Welfare – Dr Anton Howes, KCL
    • Benevolent Capitalism and Inequality [Keynote] – Yaron Brook, President and Executive Director, Ayn Rand Institute 
    • Panel Discussion: Principled Incremental Transition – How do we get there from here?
    Tickets are required for this event. Tea, coffee, drinks and snacks will be catered within the ticket price. Early birds can get tickets for £12 if they buy today.
    To reserve a table at Rocket Holborn for lunch or dinner please email

May 7-30
Libertarian Party conventions

May 15
Alexandria, VA

Libertarian Party Lunch
1:00 pm

Reynolds St Bar and Grill

34 S Reynolds St, Alexandria, Virginia 22304


May 27-30th
Orlando, FL

Libertarian candidates for 2016

21 Apr
We hope to provide a complete list of Libertarian candidates running in 2016, updated continuously all year.  Hypertext links to their websites or social media will be provided.

We may wait for people to receive their party nomination or to be certified for ballot access before listing them, though we will include write-ins and label them as such.

We also may include some libertarian or libertarian-leaning Green, independent, Democrat or Republican candidates, but will identify them as such.


Frank Gilbert
U.S. Senate

Rebekah Bydlak (GOP)
U.S. Congress, 1st District

New York

Alex Merced
U.S. Senate



J.D. Thorpe
U.S. Congress, 10th District

Dan Mittereder
U.S. Congress, 11th District

Liberal Problems: The Joy of Leftist Sex

19 Apr
You thought Democrats were only arguing about whether tampons alone should be free of sales tax, and whether churches should be forced to have unisex latrines where Trans people could squat right beside children.

But no.  The sex life of the modern liberal is far more vexed than that.  But Dan Savage is there to help them:

I am a twentysomething, straight, cis-female expat. How long do I have to wait to ask my German lover, who is übersensitive about the Holocaust, to indulge me in my greatest—and, until now, unrealized—fantasy: Nazi role-play? He is very delicate around me because I am a secular Jew and the descendant of Holocaust survivors. (Even though I’ve instructed him to watch The Believer, starring Ryan Gosling as a Jewish neo-Nazi, to get a better grasp on my relationship with Judaism. To be clear, I am not actually a neo-Nazi—just your garden-variety self-hating Jew.) This persists even though we’ve spoken about my anti-Zionist politics. Evidently he was indoctrinated from a young age with a hyperapologetic history curriculum. I appreciate that he thinks it was wrong for the SS to slaughter my family, but it’s not like he did it himself. I know it sounds really fucked up, but I promise this isn’t coming from a place of deep-seated self-loathing. Even if it were, it’s not like we’d be hurting anybody. We’re both in good psychological working condition, and neither of us is an actual bigot. I would try to get to know him better, but we are so different (there’s a big age difference) and I don’t really see our relationship being much more than ze sex.
National Socialist Pretend Party
“Sex writers get all the really good religion questions,” said Mark Oppenheimer. “Can we trade mailboxes sometime soon? I’m tired of dealing with all the questions about why evangelicals support a thrice-married misogynist reality-TV star who never goes to church.”
Oppenheimer writes the Beliefs column for the New York Timesand is cohost of Unorthodox, an “irreverent podcast about Jews and other people”. I invited Oppenheimer to weigh in because I am, sadly, not Jewish myself. (Jewishness is conferred through matrilineal descent, your mom—or, if you’re Reform, either parent—has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish, so all those blowjobs I gave to my first Jewish boyfriend were for nothing. No birthright trip for me.)
“First off, I think that Die Fraulein should make her kinky proposal ASAP,” said Oppenheimer. “Given the ‘hyperapologetic’ curriculum that her Teutonic stud has absorbed, he is probably going to freak out no matter when she asks him to incinerate—er, tie her up and fuck her. On the other hand, if he’s open and kink-positive, he’ll probably be down for whatever. But it’s all or nothing in a case like this. She can’t win him over by persuading him that she’s not one of those uptight, unforgiving Jewesses who is still hung up on the destruction of European Jewry.”
While your kink didn’t really faze Oppenheimer (it’s not exactly unheard of), NSPP, your discomfort with your own Judaism did.
“In her letter, she assures us that she is ‘secular,’ ‘anti-Zionist,’ and ‘garden-variety self-hating’—then jokingly compares herself to the Jewish white supremacist (played by Ryan Gosling in that movie) who in real life killed himself after the New York Times outed him as a Jew,” said Oppenheimer. “Now, all of us (especially homos and Yids) know something about self-loathing, and I think Jews are entitled to any and all views on Israel, and—again—I am not troubled by her kink. That said, I do think she needs to get to a happier place about her own heritage. Just as it’s not good for black people to be uncomfortable with being black, or for queer people to wish they weren’t queer, it’s not healthy, or attractive, for Jews or Jewesses (we are taking back the term) to have such obvious discomfort with their Jewish heritage.”
And finally, NSPP, I shared your letter with a German friend of mine, just to see how it might play with someone who benefited from a hyperapologetic history curriculum. Would he do something like this?
“Not in six million years.”

I am totally with your German friend, who wouldn’t do Nazi role-play “in six million years.” I’ve been in a similar position—not quite Holocaust level, but not far off. I’m a white British guy. A while back, while living in the UK, I was dating a woman from Bangalore. She revealed—after her face lit up when I dressed in a way that made me “look like a colonialist” (her words)—that her deepest fantasy was to be an Indian slave girl raped by an English imperialist. And then, living in the US a few years later, I was dating a black woman. We got to talking about the kinks of exes. I told her about this one, and she revealed that her own fantasy was to be the slave on a 19th-century plantation, raped by her white owner. How about some advice for the human fetish objects in these scenarios, Dan? I didn’t want to stigmatize these women for their sexual desires, and I wanted to be GGG, but it was, frankly, hard (or not, as it were). Being asked to act out roles I feel guilty about, and to use the kind of racial epithets I make every effort to avoid… the guilt is a boner-killer. Any tips on how a GGG partner can get past this kind of mental block and at least act the role enthusiastically enough to fulfill the fantasy? Or was a subsequent girlfriend’s outrage about my willingness to indulge such socially regressive fantasies justified?—I Might Play Every Role I’m Asked Less Ideologically-Scrupulous Motives

Actors play Nazis in hit movies, British colonialists for prestigious BBC miniseries, and serial killers on long-running television shows. I don’t see why playing monsters in entertainments devised for millions wins Oscars (Christoph Waltz for playing a Nazi in Inglourious Basterds), BAFTAs (Tim Pigott-Smith for playing a brutal colonialist in The Jewel in the Crown), and Golden Globes (Michael C. Hall for playing a sociopathic serial killer in Dexter), but playing a monster for an audience of one should outrage “subsequent girlfriends” or anyone else.
My advice for people asked to play monsters in the bedroom mirrors my advice to a gay guy attracted to degrading “antigay” gay porn: “A person can safely explore degrading fantasies—even fantasies rooted in ‘hate ideologies’—so long as he/she is capable of compartmentalizing this stuff. Basically, you have to build a fire wall between your fantasies and your self-esteem. (And between your fantasies and your politics.)”
If you can build a fire wall between their fantasies and your politics and beliefs, IMPERIALISM, go for it. If you can’t, don’t.  —Dan