A federal bureaucrat went duck hunting for the first time in Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence.
As the bureaucrat climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The bureaucrat responded, “I shot a duck, it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied, “This is my property and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant bureaucrat said, “I am one of the highest level EPA administrators in the U.S. and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”
The bureaucrat asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The bureaucrat quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the bureaucrat’s groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The bureaucrat was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The bureaucrat summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”
The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck.”